Stats
Week 44 Average Daily Wordcount: 997
Week 44 Total Wordcount: 6978
July Total Wordcount: 52
Year Total Wordcount: 862,862
Words to go:
July: 83,282
Year: 137,138
Yeah…those numbers aren’t looking good. Are we surprised?
If you’ve been following this blog for a bit, you’ll know that I’ve been struggling…for several months. That has not gotten better in July. Of course, during this particular week I was on vacation. That vacation was only actually 3 days long, but still…
Vacations are very distracting.
Not only are things not getting better, they’re getting actively worse. You may have noticed that it’s been a long time since my last blog post. That’s because I haven’t been even so much as turning on my computer most days.
I don’t understand why this is so hard. I can look back at so many moments where sitting down to write was easy. The actual writing may not have been easy, but committing to do it was simple. Now it feels impossible.
I have the uncomfortable feeling that this challenge may have taken a sharp turn from motivational into detrimental to my writing. It’s uncomfortable because I know that, if true, it means I need to step away from it for a while. Give myself a break to rejuvenate my love for it.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?
And what would it matter? Writing is not my job. There are no outside expectations here. This is just a personal challenge. It’s just me who I’m disappointing.
But how on earth can I stop when I only have 51 days left to go? If I don’t finish now, what exactly have I been doing with my time for the last year?
I don’t think I would ever forgive myself if I quit now. But how do I go on? I can’t seem to get my butt in the chair and hands on the keys most days. How am I supposed to fix that?
Oh, also, I think I can pretty much kiss winning Camp NaNo goodbye. I guess Milwordy and NaNo really don’t mix after all. Who would have figured?
Anyway, I don’t mean to be such a downer, but I guess that’s the danger in jumping into a difficult challenge like this publicly. You can’t really hide your stumbles. And boy, am I stumbling.
I hope that your own ambitions are going better than mine. Let me know down in the comments what you’re working on. I can live vicariously through writers who are actually writing. 😀
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Rambling Robin 